|driver improvement program.
||[May. 27th, 2006|05:50 pm]
|||||kt tunstall - suddenly I see||]|
I took the driver improvement program on evergreen lane. evergreen lane is only about two blocks long- everywhere on it is within walking distance of my house. but I also had driven past it enough to know that there aren't any real offices on evergreen lane, just a whole bunch of offices that look like they used to be townhouses with korean signs. but, what can I say. it was close. I wasn't expecting much. the instructor and half the class were korean; the other half were senior boys from annandale. and then there was one forty year old indian man who wouldnt stop itching his pants, or falling asleep, and then one time he touched my bare foot with his socked foot.
there was this video we watched all day long. with ten minute breaks. the video asked what to do when approaching an oncoming vehicle that wouldn't turn off its brights, and then paused for an answer. when no one volenteered, the video us the answer. you should turn off our own brights, and just watch the right hand side of the road. the instructor stopped the video, and asked us how many people would actually do that. because before he knew how to drive well, he used to leave his brights on and drive as close as possible to the oncoming car, "to teach them a lesson". another brief pause. "but don't do that. look to the right." then he gave us the test you have to pass at the end three hours early, so we could take some of the answers from the video as it played. and then look up the rest of the answers in the paper book.
the three annandale boys were talking about how, did you know, terry was pregnant, "and about to pop." when every one got buddy buddy and started talking, I found out they were all in for reckless. in fact, when everybody got buddy buddy and I came in from outside, they were all trading answers. well, the whole room was. the man who played footsie with me asked me what the answer to question two was. and then question three. five. six. eight. nine. then I put on my headphones. put on your fucking shoes buddy.
so we had finished the test before we even started the last video. three people were talking on their cell phones. they were missing the best section, on brakes. "a car without breaks will keep moving, unless stopped by an outside agent." with a picture of a police car. hahahahha get it. newtons law of inertia except with the police. they also missed the section about alcohol, with special suggestions for parties. "serving drinks so strong they make your guests' eyes water will impress no one." "dont try to push drinks on your guests. if you want to push something, serve orderves such as cheese and crackers, or chips and dip." thanks, video, for telling me how to throw a happening party. thanks.
the bathroom was red in the worst paint job I have ever seen in my life, but the trim was all nice. the shelf behind the toilet had a bunch of empty perfume bottles? and a small sharks tooth in a glass case? and there was an electric toothbrush next to the sink?
I have never been so nervous leaving a parking lot as leaving a parking lot full of reckless drivers, and after watching five hours of videos about how easy it is to get into car crashes.
I mean like, the instructor let us out two hours early.
and I am so serious about everything.